


Don't Go Breaking My Heart

by roe87



Series: Logan/Bucky [7]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Bucky Barnes, Break Up, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Cheating, Dating, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gay Bucky Barnes, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Infidelity, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Carol Danvers/Maria Rambeau, Minor Natasha Romanov/Sam Wilson, Moving On, Not stucky end game!, Pining, Post-Break Up, Smut, Sneaking Around, Top Steve Rogers, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2020-04-06 01:01:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19052080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roe87/pseuds/roe87
Summary: Steve is married to Peggy.And he's been sneaking around with Bucky on the side for a long time now.Bucky just can't take it any more. It's time for him to move on and get his life back.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [buckwildblu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckwildblu/gifts).



> Hello! Please read the tags!
> 
> I saw Rocketman recently and had to get some gay feelings out!
> 
> This is a Bucky centric fic. There is no 'villain' here, aside from a certain OOC character (heavy side eye at mcu...) not treating Bucky with the respect he deserves.
> 
> Spoiler alert, Bucky has a happy ending, because he's worth it. 
> 
> ~

 

 

Bucky held tight to the headboard as Steve railed him from behind.

Goddamn, but Steve knew how to fuck.

He gripped Bucky's hips with strong hands, holding him steady as he slammed his cock in again and again, hitting Bucky in exactly the right place.

It was all Bucky could do to hold on as he was pounded into the mattress, hair sticking to his face and neck with sweat. He gasped and cried out when Steve's cock nailed his prostate.

"C'mon, Buck," Steve growled, snapping his hips faster. "Come for me."

Bucky whimpered in response, and lowered one hand to his cock, hard and bouncing between his legs. All it took was two sharp tugs, and he was coming fast.

Steve sped up his thrusts, crying out as he started to come too. Bucky was still spilling into his hand as he jerked himself, holding onto the headboard with his other hand so Steve didn't slam him into the wall.

Not that Bucky would mind that so much if he did.

Steve gasped hard, and slowed his pace. He grabbed Bucky around the waist and pulled him down on the bed so they could lie together, Steve's cock still buried deep in his ass. Bucky whimpered and closed his eyes. He loved feeling Steve's arms around him, loved when Steve was pressed up against him like this.

Bucky exhaled long and deep, enjoying the afterglow of his orgasm. For now, he was content. But it only lasted a moment before Steve was pulling his cock out and rolling over onto his back.

Bucky rolled over too, leaning on his side to face Steve. He wanted to say something, anything, but was unsure what.

Steve stared up at the ceiling, catching his breath. He didn't look at Bucky, and Bucky's eyes wandered, as they usually did when he was in Steve's place, to the nightstand on Steve's side. Pots of creams, a perfume bottle and a hair brush.

Peggy's, not Steve's.

Bucky looked back to Steve, and gingerly reached out his hand to stroke Steve's bicep.

"You want to go out and get a late lunch?" he asked.

Steve shook his head. "Can't, Buck. Rain check?"

"Sure," Bucky replied, fighting against his disappointment.

Steve flashed him a quick smile before throwing the covers back, and climbed out of bed. "You want a shower?"

Bucky sat up, watching Steve pull on a pair of boxer briefs. "Yeah. Wanna join me?"

"I'll take one after you," Steve said, going to the closet. "I gotta change the bed. Won't have time later."

Oh, Bucky thought, looking down at the rumpled sheets around him.

Way to make a guy feel cheap, Steve.

Bucky pushed back the covers, and got out of the bed. "I'll... go take a shower, then."

He didn't need to see Steve stripping the bed like a criminal trying to hide evidence.

That's what it felt like, though.

Bucky trudged off to the bathroom, wondering why Steve just wouldn't come over to his apartment where they could hang out in peace whenever they wanted. If they hooked up at Steve's apartment that he shared with Peggy, Bucky always felt like they were on the clock.

Which, they were. Peggy was away this weekend, but she'd be back tonight. Or so Steve had said.

In the bathroom were more reminders of Peggy, with her things everywhere: shampoo, conditioner, more brushes. Make-up bags by the mirror.

Bucky eyed a red lipstick tube as he turned on the shower and waited for it to heat up. He wondered what it'd be like being Steve's partner, being the one who was official and out with him.

It wasn't like they were so different, him and Peggy. Bucky looked at himself in the large mirror. His brown wavy hair was down to his shoulders now, almost in the same style Peggy wore it. He kept his face clean shaven, and he wondered what he'd look like with red lipstick on.

Maybe he should wear a dress, something fitted like Peggy wore to show off her figure.

Bucky leaned forward, watching his reflection as he used his hands to press his pecs together and make a cleavage. He could sort of make a pair of boobs. He'd probably look good in a dress.

Ugh, why was he even thinking about this. Agonising over why Steve didn't want him full time never helped his mood.

Bucky shook his head at himself, and got into the shower.

 

By the time he'd washed (and used Peggy's conditioner on his hair, because he was a petty bitch) and wandered back into the bedroom, Steve wasn't even in there.

The bed was remade, the dirty sheets gone.

Bucky stared at the bed for a moment, feeling jealous, before making himself find his clothes and get dressed.

Maybe he could tempt Steve over to his apartment later in the week. None of this hurrying around crap, it put Bucky in a bad mood.

He used a hairband from his pocket to tie his damp hair back. It was warm today, so his hair would dry soon. Then he left the bedroom to go find Steve.

In the living area Bucky had to pass all the framed and smiling photos of Steve and Peggy as a couple, and photos of their family too.

That was the thing with women, Bucky thought: they were so organised about home space, they got photos printed and framed. Mark their territory.

All Bucky had was a couple selfies on his phone of him and Steve, and Steve had made him promise not to show anyone, so it made Bucky feel like he was carrying contraband rather than photos of his man.

Steve was in the kitchen, cooking up lunch.

"Hungry?" Steve called over.

"Yeah," Bucky said, and plastered on a smile. "What you got?"

"Eggs and bacon alright?"

"Sure." Bucky wasn't going to say no. "Can I help?"

"I'm fine. Pour yourself some coffee and take a seat."

"Okay."

Bucky did just that, cupping his hands around his coffee mug as he watched Steve cook at the stove. He smiled wistfully, pretending just for a moment that they were a real couple, and this was what they did every day together.

In the back of his mind, Bucky knew he was being delusional, but he couldn't help himself.

 

 

 

 


	2. Two

 

What have I got to do to make you want me,  
What have I got to do to be heard?  
What do I say when it's all over,  
And sorry seems to be the hardest word.

 

-Elton John

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bucky checked his phone again, but no reply.

He sighed, and sank down into his couch.

This was stupid. He was dressed and ready to leave, but he had no one to meet, no one to spend his birthday with.

He'd been keeping the day free because Steve had promised to meet up with him, but now he wasn't answering Bucky's messages.

What was worse, being a week day, all Bucky's friends were either at work or already busy. He'd booked the day off work, because he'd thought Steve would be with him.

A last minute change of plans had Steve cancelling last night, promising to meet up with him today.

Maybe his phone had died, or something.

Bucky considered going to the bar they'd talked about visiting, because it served food and pitchers of cocktails. But he didn't want to go alone, not if Steve wasn't even there.

Bucky drummed his fingers on his knee. Then he picked up his phone again to call Steve.

It went straight to voicemail.

He couldn't leave a voicemail, Steve had asked him not to in the past because he didn't want Peggy to be suspicious.

Bucky felt so irritable, he was about to send a string of incriminating text messages if Steve didn't pick up the damn phone soon. Let the big blond asshole deal with that.

Bucky waited, and waited.

He was getting hungry. He hadn't eaten much either, because he'd thought there was the possibility he'd be having sex soon, and as he was usually the bottom, that meant no big meals.

Well, screw it, Bucky thought, and put on his jacket. He'd go down to the bar, eat a big plate of ribs, and if Steve didn't turn up he'd go cry on Carol and Maria's couch.

Wouldn't be the first time.

 

 

 

Bucky went to the bar, sat in a booth by himself and ate plate after plate of greasy barbecue food.

To hell with it, he thought. No sex for him later. He'd probably go into a food coma after all the meat and carbs.

The bar wasn't busy yet, but had a few people cruising already. A couple women cruised by his table and tried to talk to him while he was eating.

"I'm gay," Bucky told them flatly, surprised they couldn't figure it out.

Then again, he was on his own in a regular bar, eating like an animal at a trough. He should've worn his rainbow pin.

Bucky signalled the server over and ordered himself another plate of nachos, and a pitcher of margaritas.

He checked his phone as he waited.

Still no reply from Steve.

Out of spite, Bucky downloaded Grindr to his phone and set up a new profile.

Fuck Steve, he thought, flicking through profiles of the nearest available men. One was even here in this bar.

Score.

Bucky messaged the guy, and gave him his booth number.

If they hit it off, maybe they could hook up. Although there'd be no anal sex for Bucky tonight, he was far too full of delicious food.

"Hey," a voice said, making Bucky look up hopefully.

But it wasn't Steve, it was the Grindr hookup.

"Hey," Bucky replied, forcing himself to smile. "Want to join me?"

"Love to." The guy returned his smile, seeming genuine, and plopped down into the booth. "So, what's a handsome guy like you doing in a bar like this?"

Bucky laughed wryly. "Well, my date didn't show up," he said attempting humor, except his eyes pricked with hot tears and his lips wobbled. "And it's my birthday."

Oh, he thought, as he started crying. This wasn't supposed to happen.

"I just thought he'd show up," Bucky blubbed uncontrollably, as Grindr dude looked on with naked horror.

"Uh, right," he said. "Well, some guys are jerks, right?"

"Yes." Bucky used a napkin to wipe his eyes. "And he's married."

"Oh, boy," the other guy murmured, and went to signal a server. "Hey, can we get some shots over here, please?"

 

The stranger, whose name was Wade, sat with Bucky and fed him shots, listening to his sob story.

Bucky figured the kindness of strangers had saved Carol and Maria from listening to him mope tonight. Lucky them.

Wade was nice, which ironically made Bucky more upset. Why couldn't Steve be nice to him? Where the fuck was Steve anyway?

"I don't know what I did wrong," Bucky sniffed, leaning over his empty shot glasses with his head in his hands.

"I'll tell you what you did wrong," Wade said gently. "You wasted your time on a closeted man. There's no happy ending there, pal."

Bucky sniffed again, silent tears tracking down his cheeks. "But he was with me first. We were together."

"Was he out?" Wade asked.

"Um... no, not really."

"Then there's the problem." Wade pushed another shot of mixed liquor under Bucky's nose. "That, or he's simply an asshole. Bottoms up, pal."

"I'm already drunk," Bucky said, but he picked up the shot glass anyway.

"I know." Wade knocked back a shot too. "Next we're gonna eat some carbs, then I'm gonna put you in a cab and send you home, okay? You need to sleep it off, delete that dude's number off your phone, and tomorrow start the first day of the rest of your life."

Bucky's lip wobbled, tears filling his eyes again.

A life without Steve? Bucky didn't know anything else. They'd grown up together, gone to school together, and college. Bucky had been waiting and hoping on Steve all this time, even when Steve had met Peggy who was visiting New York on a work Visa.

Bucky figured they wouldn't last long. Steve dated women sometimes, but it never got serious.

Then Steve had gone ahead and _married_ Peggy so she could stay in the States.

Bucky had felt pushed aside ever since, and he was sick of feeling unhappy. The realisation hit him just then, like a beam of light: he was sick of feeling unhappy.

"I don't want to be like this," he admitted, feeling embarrassed. "I don't know what happened to me."

"Don't sweat it," Wade told him. "Life happens, shit happens. Roll with the punches, but don't beat yourself up. This is a wake up call, my dude."

Bucky nodded with determination. "You're right. You're absolutely right."

"Ready for those nachos?" Wade asked with a grin.

"Yes."

 

 

Wade was a man of his word, and got Bucky into a cab to go home.

They'd swapped numbers, but Bucky wasn't feeling it any more. When he woke up in his apartment alone the next day, hungover and in a rush to make it to work on time, he made a few decisions.

First, he deleted Grindr off his phone, because the notifications were annoying him, and he wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone right now.

He did send Wade a text message to thank him, and also mention that he thought he should try being on his own for a while, and not date slash hook up with anyone.

Wade was nice enough to reply and wish him well.

Bucky's next big decision, as he sat on the bus to work and stared at Steve's contact details in his phone, was to try work up the courage to delete him.

Steve still hadn't replied, and Bucky was half mad about it and half worried. Was Steve even alive? What if something had happened?

Bucky knew he'd worry about it until he knew, so he didn't delete Steve's number for now. He sent another text, asking if Steve was still alive and breathing.

It was after lunch time when Bucky finally got a reply. Steve sent a text saying that Peggy had told him she was pregnant, and they'd been up all night talking it over.

Bucky stared at the message, at the words on the screen.

Just, the fucking audacity of it, Bucky thought. No sorry for missing your birthday, Bucky, or anything. Steve was clearly too wrapped up in his own drama to remember Bucky existed.

Fueled by anger, Bucky deleted Steve's number from his phone without replying.

Fuck him, Bucky thought, as he went through all his social media and email accounts, blocking Steve there too.

_Fuck him, fuck him, fuck him._

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Three

 

 

Sleeping with the dogs  
And you wake up with the fleas  
Honey, don't get mad, get even

 

-Aerosmith

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bucky grew a beard.

Because, fuck it, why not.

And he got highlights put in his hair, and an undercut shaved into his head. He started tying his hair up in a bun like the hipsters did, and he wore pretty scrunchies that didn't break his hair too.

He got his ear re-pierced, and wore a couple shiny silver hoops. He changed up his wardrobe, wearing tight stylish clothes, and treating himself to new jackets.

It was time to put himself out there again, and his friends supported him. Bucky downloaded Scruff, Grindr, Tinder, and OkCupid. He went on a few dates, most of them total disasters, but at least he was trying.

And, most importantly of all, Bucky resolutely ignored any calls from Steve fucking Rogers.

 

Four months on, Carol had a new tattoo, and Bucky felt inspired to get a tattoo as well.

"I could get some writing," he suggested, "something like, all men are assholes."

Carol snorted a laugh. "Maybe you should get that in Latin, so your future dates can't read it," she said.

"Get it across my ass so they can read it every night," Bucky quipped.

"If you really want a tattoo, I'll take you to the place I go," Carol offered. "Everyone's gay and bi in there. It's great."

"Yes, please," Bucky said. "I don't even know what I'd get. I just want a big statement piece."

"When we go down there you can chat to the artists," Carol said.

 

The week after, she took him downtown on a Saturday afternoon to the tattoo shop.

She was booked in to get a touch up on her calf piece, and said Bucky could wait with her and chat to the artists about his ideas.

Bucky wasn't sure if he wanted color or black and white, traditional or modern: he just knew he wanted _something_.

Walking into the shop was somewhat intimidating, especially for a tattoo virgin like Bucky. He'd worn his new leather jacket, in a bid to impress.

The shop was absolutely covered in art on the walls, from graffiti to framed pieces, and photographs of tattoos on all shades of skin.

"Whoa," Bucky murmured, peering at the pictures. The art was incredible.

"There's some flash books over here," Carol explained, pointing him to some leather bound books on the coffee table.

"Why don't you have a flick through while I wait for Val. She's my artist."

"Sure."

Bucky looked through the books as Carol went to the front desk. Her artist was still with another client, and the buzzing of needles from down the hall was loud and made Bucky excited and nervous all at once.

He looked at the splashes of color in one book, then picked up another that had more traditional art in.

There was one drawing of a very pretty dragon holding a jewel, with its wings partly folded up. Bucky imagined that as a big back piece, and how cool the wings would look on his back.

He wasn't sure what the style was, but the dragon seemed mostly western with a hint of eastern influence, maybe. Bucky wasn't exactly an expert, he just knew that the dragon was really nice.

When Carol came back to sit with him, Bucky showed her the art.

"Cool," she said, then looked at the front of the book. "This is Logan's. I'll tell the receptionist and she can get him to chat to you when he's free?"

Bucky nodded, feeling daring. "Okay, sure."

Twenty minutes later, Carol's artist was ready for her, and came out to greet them.

"Come on back," the petite, badass woman said, leading them down the hall. She set Carol up on a chair that looked more like a dentist's chair to Bucky. Carol rolled up her jeans to the knee as the artist checked over her work.

"Hm, a little touch up needed here," she mused, examining the mostly healed tattoo. "Were you scratching it?"

Carol chuckled. "Maybe a tiny bit?"

Bucky sat on a nearby stool and watched with interest as the tattoo artist, Val, got set up at her station with ink and needles.

The needle was so loud when it buzzed, but Carol didn't even flinch when it touched her skin.

The receptionist appeared in the doorway and waved to get Bucky's attention. "You wanted to talk to Logan about a dragon piece?"

"Oh!" Bucky got to his feet. "Yeah."

"Atta boy," Carol cheered, as he followed the receptionist out of the room.

She led him across the hall to another room, gesturing to a man perched on a stool with his back to them.

He was in jeans and a white tank top, with nice big arm muscles bulging out everywhere. Bucky's eyes widened considerably.

"Logan, customer for you," the receptionist said.

"Thanks, Wanda," the man, Logan, said. He spun round on the stool to reveal a handsome older face with neat stubble around his jaw, and styled short hair. He smiled pleasantly at Bucky.

"Take a seat."

"Okay," Bucky said, dazed.

Wanda left them, and Bucky went to sit with the extremely hot and buff older man.

Shit, was he gay? Bucky wondered. Carol had said everyone in this shop was gay. He'd have to find out.

"So." Logan looked him over, like he was sizing him up. "You want to get a dragon?"

Bucky nodded.

"You thought about where?" Logan asked.

"Um, my back?" Bucky squeaked.

"Some people find that painful," Logan warned. "Is this your first tattoo?"

"Um, yes," Bucky said, his eyes flitting over Logan's bare arms and shoulders, all covered in ink. Some of his tattoos looked like they were Japanese art.

"I mean, I need to be able to cover it for work," Bucky babbled, feeling nervous. "So back seems like a good place?"

"Okay, well, upper arm is always a choice," Logan advised. "Back is fine, too. How's your pain threshold?"

"I have metal pins all down my left arm from a bike accident," Bucky said. "Had to do a lot of physical therapy over the years. I think I can deal."

Logan nodded. "Okay, then. If you take your top off, I'll just take a measurement of your back to show you the size."

"I, oh." Bucky flushed immediately, but he shrugged off his jacket. "If I'd known I'd be getting undressed, I'd have worn cologne."

His remark got a sly grin from Logan, and Bucky felt pleased.

He unbuttoned his shirt, and turned around on the stool so Logan could lay tracing paper over his back.

"How big did you want it?"

"I don't mind, I guess," Bucky said.

"It'll take a few sittings to do," Logan advised. "More sittings is more money, but you go at your own pace."

"That's fine," Bucky said.

Logan made his marks and took the paper away, laying it on a nearby table. "You can put your shirt back on now."

"If you insist," Bucky teased, but he did slip it on because it was cold in the room and his nipples had gone pert. He didn't want to look overly desperate in front of the hot guy.

Logan showed him the tracing paper, and Bucky watched as Logan quickly sketched a rough shape of the dragon.

"This is how big it'll be," he explained. "If you book in for a day session, I can do the outline in the first sitting."

"A _day?_ " Bucky squeaked. That sounded like a lot of pain all at once.

"I promise you can take breaks." Logan grinned at him. "I may look rough, kid, but I'm not heavy handed. The gentler the tattoo goes on, the quicker the skin heals, too."

"Oh," Bucky said, staring into Logan's deep blue eyes. "Um, yes. Alright, then." He figured he could handle spending a day with a hot tattooist, especially if he'd promised to be gentle. "I'm in."

"You got a name?" Logan asked with a smirk.

"Bucky," he said, smiling shyly. "It's Bucky."

 

 

 

 


	4. Four

 

And did you think this fool could never win  
Well look at me, I'm coming back again  
I got a taste of love in a simple way  
And if you need to know while I'm still standing, you just fade away

 

-Elton John

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_Four months later_

  


  


  


Bucky shove the last mouthful of his Pad Thai into his mouth and let out a satisfied groan as he ate.

"Mmm, that is so _good,_ " he said with his mouth full.

Logan chuckled. "Sounds it."

They were sitting on Bucky's couch side by side with Bucky's cat, Al, curled up in Logan's lap.

Bucky had only adopted the big white cat three weeks ago, but Al had decided he preferred Logan to Bucky whenever he stayed over.

C'est la vie.

Bucky finished eating and sat up. "You done with yours?" 

Logan had been trying to eat carefully while not disturbing the cat, and he'd just about managed.

"Yeah, thanks." He handed his carton over, and Bucky collected their leftovers to take into the kitchen.

He couldn't leave shit lying around any more, or Al would stick his snout into it. Bucky got up and left his boys on the couch together, and started the post dinner tidy up.

He put the empty cartons in the recycle bag, and the food they hadn't eaten yet safely away into a cupboard. Al hadn't figured out how to open cupboards yet, thank goodness.

He went to the refrigerator next and picked out a couple of non alcoholic root beers. Logan didn't drink, so Bucky had followed his lead since they started spending time together. And he didn't miss alcohol, not really.

He certainly didn't miss having hangovers.

Bucky took the root beers back to the living room, and handed one to Logan.

"Thanks." Logan looked up at him with a smile. "Sorry I couldn't help. I'm being held hostage."

Bucky couldn't help a laugh. The cat was fast asleep on Logan's lap. So much for Bucky getting any snuggle time for himself.

"He'll get too hot soon and jump off," Bucky said, sitting back down on the couch.

At least, Bucky hoped so.

He set his root beer onto the coffee table and got out his phone. Al looked so cute right now all snuggled up. He usually woke up or moved whenever Bucky tried to take a photo of him, but this time Bucky managed to snap a few shots.

He chuckled at the cat pics, as Logan raised an eyebrow. "Enjoying yourself?" Logan asked.

"I'm gonna send them to Carol," Bucky said, editing the pictures quickly so he could send them as Snaps.

Carol was always sending him award winning pet photography of her cat, a big ginger girl named Goose. Bucky had to up his cat photo game.

Logan just let him get on with it. He was easy going like that.

A Netflix show was playing on the TV, but Bucky wasn't really paying attention. It was just nice to hang out and chill. Logan worked all week at the tattoo shop, but he usually came over Saturday nights with take-out like tonight, and he'd stay all of Sunday too.

Bucky was more than happy to stay in and be domestic. He was very happy.

Well, he was until he looked at the notifications on his Facebook account. He'd muted the app recently, because he'd gone and un-blocked Steve Rogers and now Steve kept sending him messages.

It was irritating, and Bucky tried to forget about it. He opened Snapchat instead, and uploaded his cat pics.

Carol sent him a DM soon after, with lots of extra shots of Goose the cat sprawled on top of Maria and little Monica on their couch.

Bucky responded with more pics of Al on Logan's lap.

 _How's it going with you guys?_ Carol texted, with several winking emojis.

 _It's going good,_ Bucky replied, sending back heart-eye emojis. _Aside that my cat prefers my boyf to me, lol._

 _Lol, cats,_ Carol sent.

 _Oh, did I tell you,_ Bucky replied, _Steve keeps trying to msg me._

Carol sent an eye roll emoji.

 _Ikr,_ Bucky replied.

 _Remind me why you unblocked him?_ Carol asked.

 _I only did it for Sam and Nat,_ Bucky explained. _They want us both at the wedding and it'd be awkward if we're not talking. Besides, I don't want any bad blood._

Carol sent a link in reply, for Taylor Swift's music video _Bad Blood_.

Bucky snorted a laugh, and sent some laughing emojis back to her. _Comedian_ , he wrote. _I was just trying to be a good friend._

 _It's your funeral,_ Carol replied. _Brb, putting Monica to bed._

 _Ok, ttyl,_ Bucky sent.

He tossed his phone aside and looked up to find Logan watching him. "What?"

Logan smiled, shaking his head. "I just can't believe how fast you text. How do your thumbs not get cramp?"

Bucky threw his head back and laughed.

Logan wasn't even much older than him, but he was hilariously slow at texting. Waiting for his replies which often ended up as one word answers were what Bucky had to deal with now.

It wasn't so bad, they mostly video chatted or called instead. No biggie.

"Anyway," Bucky said, wiping a tear away, "are you watching this? Or shall we watch something else?"

"I don't mind," Logan said.

He usually let Bucky choose what to watch.

"Something with The Rock in?" Bucky suggested, picking up the remote to flick through the choices.

"Sure."

Bucky selected a comedy action movie, and settled back into the couch to watch. He tried to lean into Logan a bit, but Al woke up and gave Bucky such a filthy look for disturbing him that Bucky edged away again.

"I'm being cock blocked by my own cat," Bucky complained.

Logan laughed lowly, seeming content to just sit there and be a human cat bed. "I thought you said he'd get off soon?"

"He better." Bucky side eyed his cat. "Maybe if I go fill up his bowl with kibbles..."

"Aw, he's fine." Logan petted Al's head, and the scowling cat turned to mush instantly, purring and rubbing his head into Logan's hand.

Bucky watched, mildly amused. "Nothing like being a third wheel," he said, as they both chuckled at how much Al was enjoying the pets.

"You adopted him," Logan pointed out.

"I know," Bucky laughed. "I've no one to blame but myself. And also Carol, because it was her idea."

"What're you going to do with the cat when we go into the bedroom?" Logan asked.

"I bought him a new catnip toy," Bucky said. "It's hidden right now, and I'll distract him with it later while we slip away. And lock the door."

"It's like having kids," Logan said with a laugh.

Bucky was fine with just a cat. Logan already had kids from a previous relationship: a young girl and a teenage boy. They lived with their mom, but Bucky had met them at dinner with Logan one time, and he conceded that kids were way more work than a cat was.

"Are you saying," he asked, "that you throw catnip bags at your kids to distract them?"

Logan snorted, grinning as he tickled Al under his chin. "If only."

Al went back to sleep, and they settled in to watch the movie.

Barely a half hour later, the buzzer to Bucky's apartment went off.

"Did you order more take-out?" Logan asked.

"What? No?" Bucky said, getting up from the couch, because Logan still had the cat. "Did you?"

Logan shook his head. "Probably got the wrong apartment."

"Free take-out!" Bucky laughed, and headed across the room to go check the intercom.

Bucky's hand reached for the phone and as he glanced at the grainy picture on the intercom machine, then he paused in surprise.

_Steve._

Steve was outside his building.

Bucky pulled back his hand. This was kind of weird. Maybe if Bucky just ignored him, he would go away.

Steve buzzed a couple more times, and the way he sagged against the wall of the building made Bucky worry.

He'd always been a worrier, he couldn't help it.

With a sigh, Bucky picked up the phone and pressed the button to speak. "What're you doing here?" he hissed.

"Buck!" Steve called, looking up at the camera. "You're home! Can I come up?"

"You can't come up, I'm busy," Bucky said firmly. "What the hell, Steve? What're you––"

"Buck," Steve slurred, sounding very drunk. He started slapping on the door, leaning against it like he couldn't hold himself up. "Buck, c'mon."

"Oh, for crying out loud," Bucky muttered, and pressed the button to let Steve into the building.

Steve fell through the now open door, disappearing from view of the camera.

"Shit," Bucky said, replacing the phone. Steve really was drunk. Bucky had never seen him like that, not since they were in school.

Bucky grabbed his front door key, and quickly slipped on his shoes. "Logan," he said, walking back through the living room. "An idiot I know is downstairs drunk. I'm gonna go hail a cab for him."

"Okay," Logan replied. "Want some help?"

"I got it." Bucky waved a hand, and hurried out the door.

All he had to do was get Steve into a cab outside, and send him back home.

 

 

 

 


	5. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Thanks for reading this fic ^.^
> 
> If you're interested in the Logan/Bucky pairing, there is a [discord chat group](https://hellyeahloganbucky.tumblr.com/post/185408662455/join-the-loganbucky-discord-server) for it! :D come join
> 
> ~

  


 

 

Don't you know I'm still standing better than I ever did

Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid

I'm still standing after all this time

Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind

  


-Elton John

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bucky marched downstairs.

It was only three floors, but Steve hadn't even made it in past the main hallway yet.

"Steve, what the fuck," Bucky said, marching up to him. Steve was on his feet at least, if only partially. He was hanging onto the sideboard where all the mail boxes were, and when he saw Bucky he broke into a big, dopey grin.

"Buck! Hey! You're here."

"You are so drunk," Bucky said, and held out his hand. "Give me your phone. I'm calling an Uber and sending you home."

"What? Noooo..." Steve pouted, and leaned back against the wall. "No, I don't wanna go home."

"Then I'll send you to Sam and Nat's," Bucky said. "You can't stay here, Steve."

"Huh?" Steve looked at him with a confused expression. "Why not? I thought we were friends now?"

"We're hardly friends," Bucky snapped, swiftly losing his grip on his temper. "I only un-blocked you because of Nat. We haven't even spoken for months, Steve, you can't just show up here like ––"

"Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Steve slurred, rubbing a hand over his face. "I'll make it up to you later. Can't I just crash on your couch?"

"No."

"Bucky," Steve wheedled. "C'mon."

"No, Steve," Bucky said firmly. "You should go stay with Sam and Nat. Or someone else, but not definitely here."

"Why not?"

"Well, for starters, my boyfriend is up there," Bucky said, "and we don't particularly want a drunk guy third wheeling it and ruining the mood."

"Oh?" Steve looked at him in surprise, blinking several times. "Boyfriend, huh? Who is it?"

"No one you know," Bucky said, feeling a kind of satisfaction in telling him. It was short lived though, because Bucky's anxiety over this entire situation was growing fast. "I also have a cat, and he doesn't like strangers, so you can't come up."

"Oh, I see," Steve said quietly, slumping back on the wall. He blinked slowly, eyes clearly fighting to stay open. "I just need to sleep somewhere."

"I told you," Bucky said, "I'll call you an Uber and it can take you to Sam's."

"I can't afford an Uber," Steve grumbled. "They live all the way out in Jersey. Those jerks. And I don't... Do you know how much babies cost?" He looked at Bucky, eyes still half closed. "It's _so_ much money. We got all this baby stuff and I don't have any money left."

Bucky suppressed a sigh. "Look, Steve, I'm sorry if things are tough, but seeing as your _wife_ is pregnant and about to give birth any day now, don't you think you should be a bit more responsible about it all? Like maybe not going out and getting drunk, for starters?"

"I know, I know," Steve huffed. "I just wanted a little drink. Thought I'd come by and see you."

"I wish you hadn't," Bucky told him. "All you're doing is ruining my night."

"Sorry," Steve mumbled. "I know I ruin everything. I'll go." He stumbled trying to stand up straight.

Bucky rolled his eyes. "Steve, just wait. I'll call you an Uber and pay for it, okay?"

"No, it's too expensive," Steve replied, still holding onto the wall.

"Better than you passing out in an alley and everyone blaming me for it," Bucky said.

Because that's what would happen, he was sure.

"Just wait there," Bucky said. "I have to go back upstairs and get my phone."

Steve murmured something, his eyes closing.

"Wait here," Bucky told him again, and turned to hurry back upstairs.

At least if he used his own Uber app, he could track the journey and have peace of mind knowing that he'd sent Steve someplace safe.

Bucky's heart was thumping in his ears when he let himself back into his apartment. He tried to act normal, not harried or stressed, as he walked into the living area.

Logan was still there on the couch, along with Al sprawled over his lap.

"Everything alright?" Logan asked.

"Yep." Bucky nodded, and resolutely did not look him in the eye. He reached for his phone on the coffee table. "Gonna order him an Uber now."

"Are you paying for it?" Logan asked.

Bucky paused, then blurted out, "He says he can't afford the journey. I'd feel better knowing he gets delivered safely to our friend's place. He's drunk as shit."

"Where's your friend's place?"

"New Jersey," Bucky said with a sigh. "They moved out there last year."

Logan shifted on the couch, and Al raised his head with a soft purrp. "And this guy downstairs? He a close friend?"

"No," Bucky sighed. "More like my ex. But I've known him my whole life, and he's not normally like this. I've never seen him this drunk before. His wife's pregnant, and..."

"Hey." Logan raised his hands with a wry smile. "Don't worry, these things happen." He made to get up, and the cat got annoyed enough to jump off his lap. "Let me go take a leak first, and I'll drive him there."

Bucky was sure he'd misheard.

"You... what?"

"Why don't you call your Jersey friends now," Logan said, getting to his feet. "Make sure they're actually at home and ready to receive a drunk person."

"Oh, um." Bucky swallowed. "Okay? Wait, Logan, are you sure about this?"

Logan smiled at him. "No cab drivers want drunk people in their car. Call your friends, and text me the address if they agree to take him in."

"Um, okay?" Bucky watched him lope off toward the bathroom. He stood there in a daze until his anxiety crept back in, and he did as Logan had told him. "Okay, right..." He found Sam's contact, and pressed dial.

As it rang, Bucky let himself out of the apartment again, and headed back downstairs to keep an eye on Steve.

"Ooh, a phone call," Sam's voice said as he picked up. "Is this a social call, or an emergency?"

"Uh, kind of an emergency?" Bucky said, walking down the stairs. "Are you guys at home?"

"We are," Sam confirmed. "Why?"

"Steve just showed up at my place drunk off his ass, and I don't want him here."

"Oh," Sam said flatly, then exhaled. "You want me to come pick him up?"

"No, my amazing boyfriend is going to drive him to yours," Bucky said, "if that's alright with you?"

"Oh, is he now," Sam said, smile evident in his voice. "That's decent of him."

"Yes, presuming he doesn't kick Steve out in a ditch on the way," Bucky joked.

Sam guffawed. "No need for that. Once Nat finds out about this Steve will be in enough trouble."

"Mmm," Bucky agreed, as he rounded the last set of stairs and his eyes fell on Steve down in the hallway. "I dunno, Sam," he said quietly, "he seems pretty messed up."

"He'll be fine," Sam insisted. "He's just worrying about being a dad."

Bucky rolled his eyes. He honestly didn't want Steve's drama right now. "Well, if people will go and make babies," he muttered, "they have to deal with the consequences."

Sam laughed. "Right?"

"So, anyway, can he crash at yours?" Bucky asked as he stepped into the hallway.

"Yeah, it's fine," Sam told him. "Send him here and we'll sort him out."

"Okay, thanks. I'll talk to you soon, Sam."

"Yeah, let's get dinner," Sam suggested. "Nat wants to meet your new fella."

"Sure," Bucky agreed. "That would be great. Later, Sam." He ended the call, and slipped his phone into his pocket.

"That Sam?" Steve asked, yawning.

"Yep." Bucky folded his arms. "So, you can stay with them tonight, get your shit together and never, ever do this to me again."

Steve nodded sadly. "I won't. I'm sorry, Buck."

"Hm." Bucky leaned back against the wall, so he didn't have to look at Steve. "You're gonna be a father soon, you need to get it together, Rogers."

Steve remained quiet, and when Bucky glanced over at him he saw Steve had his eyes closed with his head nodding forward.

"Unbelievable," Bucky muttered. 

A few quiet moments passed, then Bucky heard footsteps coming downstairs. He was relieved Logan had offered to take Steve, because he trusted Logan to deliver him safely to Sam's.

Steve was still seemingly half dozing off when Logan joined them in the hall. He had his jacket on, and looked Steve up and down before looking at Bucky. "You have your keys, right?"

Bucky nodded. "Yeah."

"Okay. I'll go bring the car around first. You might as well wait here in the warm."

"Okay," Bucky said again, and leaned in for a kiss.

They didn't always kiss goodbye, but Bucky needed the reassurance right now. Logan gave him a brief peck on the lips, and that was all Bucky needed to feel better.

"I won't be long," Logan told him, looking into his eyes.

"Thank you," Bucky said, meaning it.

Logan smiled, and made to go. Then he paused and looked at Steve, his smile sliding into a grin. "Hey," he said, before walking away.

Bucky looked at Steve too, now awake and staring after Logan in obvious surprise.

As soon as Logan was out the door, Steve turned to Bucky. " _That's_ your boyfriend?"

Bucky raised his eyebrows in challenge. "Yes."

"How old is he?" Steve asked.

" _Really?_ " Bucky snapped back. "Really, Steve? You're gonna go there? When you've shown up drunk on my doorstep out of nowhere?"

"Okay, okay!" Steve held up his hand. "Jeez, sorry. Didn't know it was a sore spot."

"It's not a _sore spot_ ," Bucky replied. "I'm just pointing out that _you_ are being immature."

Steve shrugged. "Okay. So? How old is he?"

"He's in his forties," Bucky said, "and barely ten years older than me. Unless you've fucking forgotten, Steve, we are in our thirties."

"Alright, alright. Sorry I asked." Steve rubbed at his eyes. "So... if he's gone now, can't I crash on your couch?"

"He's gone to get the car," Bucky said, somewhat smug. "He's taking you to Sam and Nat's."

"Huh?" Steve's face morphed into one of shock. "I don't want to sit in a car with some guy!"

"You should've thought of that before you showed up uninvited," Bucky told him. "And it's actually very kind of him to offer to drive you all the way out to Jersey."

"Jeez," Steve groaned, and rubbed both hands down his face. "I feel like I'm sobering up real quick."

"Good," Bucky said. "Then maybe you'll remember all this in the morning and never fucking do it again."

"I said I was sorry," Steve said dejectedly.

"Sorry isn't good enough!" Bucky shouted, losing his temper again. "You need to stop being a fucking asshole, Steve!"

"Okay," Steve said softly. "I'm sorry, Bucky, I really am. I'm sorry for everything."

As Bucky stared into Steve's wounded puppy dog eyes, he felt the sharp edge of his anger ebb away. He exhaled noisily, less angry and just frustrated.

"Stop feeling sorry and start _acting_ like an adult," he said.

The sound of a door opening caught Bucky's attention and, much to his horror, he saw the older woman who lived in the ground floor apartment peering out of her door.

"Sorry, Mrs. Perlman!" Bucky called out to her. "We're going in a second, I promise!"

She nodded, eyeing them both warily, then closed her door.

Bucky groaned. "Now look what you've done, Rogers. I'll probably get a complaint now."

"You're the one who was yelling," Steve pointed out.

Bucky shot him a glare, but Steve was smirking in amusement and Bucky remembered all those times as kids they'd got in trouble together, and always had each other's backs.

Bucky did miss those times, those shared experiences, but they were in the past.

It was time they both moved on.

"You're an idiot," Bucky said, without any real malice.

"Jerk," Steve said fondly.

"Punk," Bucky muttered back.

Tension dissolved, they waited quietly. Steve seemed more awake now, and when Bucky got a text from Logan saying he was out front, he escorted Steve out the door and into the street.

Logan got out of the car and opened the passenger door for Steve. Bucky wanted to make sure he got in, and he did seem more sober now so he climbed into the car okay.

"Put your seatbelt on," Logan instructed Steve, before shutting the door on him. Then he turned to Bucky and said gently, "Go back inside. I'll let you know when we get there."

"Okay." Bucky smiled at him, then glanced down at Steve, watching through the window. "Drive safe."

"Always do." Logan smirked, and walked around to the driver's side.

Bucky went back to his building, standing on the steps as he watched the car drive away.

Well.

That had certainly been an event.

He exhaled long and hard, and went back inside his building. He'd already texted Sam's address to Logan's phone, and now he texted Sam to say that the Steve package was on its way.

Bucky went back up to his apartment, and let himself in. He leaned back against the closed door and stood there for a moment.

The TV was on pause, and the apartment was all quiet. Al was nowhere to be seen.

Bucky dropped his keys onto the sideboard and went over to the couch, sitting in Logan's vacated spot. He grabbed the remote and set the TV to play again, because he didn't want to sit in silence by himself.

 

 

Bucky spent a tense two hours worrying on his own, then he got a call on his phone.

"Hey," he said, picking up immediately. "You okay?"

"All okay," Logan's voice replied. "I just dropped him off at his friend's, safe and sound."

Bucky smiled, relieved. "Thank you. That was real nice of you."

"Yeah, I know," Logan chuckled. "Look, it'll be pretty late by the time I get back into the city. Are you sure you want me to come over? I can just go home and come by tomorrow instead?"

"Um, I don't mind," Bucky said, trying to cover up his disappointment.

"I don't mind either," Logan told him gently, "so just tell me what you prefer."

"I, uh, I don't want to be on my own," Bucky admitted. "I'd rather you came back here."

"Then I'll see you in about two hours," Logan said.

Bucky grinned to himself. "Okay. Thank you."

"No need to keep thanking me," Logan said. "I want to see you too."

Bucky was smiling so much right now, he had to remember to reply. "Okay. I'll see you soon, then."

 

After saying goodbye, Bucky found a trashy movie to watch while he waited up, and snuggled onto the couch with the comforter feeling way better about everything.

Just before the movie came to an end, the apartment buzzer went off and Bucky rushed over to let Logan in.

As he waited by his apartment door, Al the cat appeared and sat in the middle of the floor with an expectant look on his face.

"Oh, now you appear," Bucky said. "You know, _I'm_ the one who gave you a home?"

Al just looked at him like he was a nobody, then trotted to the door when he heard footsteps approaching.

"Nope, back." Bucky used his foot to block the cat, and let Logan in. "Quick, this cat is trying to escape again."

"Oh, no, don't escape," Logan said, immediately bending down to pet the cat so Bucky could shut the door. Al rubbed his body against Logan's leg, standing on his tiptoes to raise his butt for more pets, his tail curling happily.

Bucky rolled his eyes. "This cat, I swear."

"He's cute," Logan said, giving the cat one last pet before standing up. "But not as cute as you."

"Flattery will get you everywhere." Bucky smiled at his boyfriend, and leaned in to kiss him.

Al chose that moment to meow loudly, and rubbed against both their legs.

"Think someone's jealous," Logan pointed out.

"Well, I think that it's _my_ time for cuddling," Bucky said with a laugh. "Logan, you head into the bedroom, and I'll go get the catnip!"

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget if you like Logan+Bucky, come join the chat group on discord, [here](https://hellyeahloganbucky.tumblr.com/post/185408662455/join-the-loganbucky-discord-server).

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos and (nice!) comments fuel me!
> 
> I am on [tumblr](http://jro616.tumblr.com) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/jro616).


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